Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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