I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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