"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
