Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
