I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
