we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
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I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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