i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
