when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
