i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize