So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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