I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
