I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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