i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
