People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
