i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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