do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
