I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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