so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
