Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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