I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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