I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
