the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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