How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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