i love accidental penises.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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