Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you win again, gameday.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
