Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
