i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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