I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
