I wannas sexs uuuuu
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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