the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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