Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
