My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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