haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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