i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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