is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
