Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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