I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
NoShamevember. You game?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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