this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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