If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
