It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
