I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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