I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
