How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
