mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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