Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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