Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just google imaged poop.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
