they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
