p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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