College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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