dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize