i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
