I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
