I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
