Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
