When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
