the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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