i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm just crazy horny about you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize