I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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