last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
