it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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