just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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