Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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