for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
