I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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