he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
