Just mADE A PArabola og urine
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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